Are you ready to make your New Year’s Resolutions stick?
Many people dread “New Year's Resolutions” today because, well, many of us have disappointed ourselves in the past... And that just never feels good. So, what can we do differently to actually crack the code of success for our New Year’s Resolutions in 2018?
Read below for 8 well-rounded tips for ringing in your new (and lasting) future improved self!
1. Make your goals from an emotionally supported and invested placerather than one of “fantasy”, “avoidance”, OR “self-deprecation”.
The old phrase “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” rings true for our own motivation with our goals. Pain does not actually help you “gain” anything positive in the long-term. Even if you have success initially, it likely will not last without a longer-term pleasurable outcome. Only pleasure, comfort, and relief will sustain our motivation with our commitment because we all want to feel good!
When you believe you deserve to feel better, and you give yourself “permission” to take care of yourself in a way that honors your personal needs, you will want to keep that commitment so you can reap the rewards.
Be gentle with yourself and start with a goal that feels reachable and good to you when you achieve it… No matter what anyone else thinks or says! Be proud of each and every little goal that you achieve, because they are just as powerful for your self-improvement as reaching the big ones. Nobody but YOU can fill any voids you feel inside, so love yourself enough to honor your needs from the inside out. Likewise, covering those needs up will only deepen your pain and further disconnect you from yourself and others. ...Your beautiful soul deserves more than that.
2. Welcome what you desire rather than fight against what you want to get rid of.
The Law of Attraction definitely plays a role with success, and you want to make sure you are attracting your desire. Be mindful to keep your wording and language of your resolutions in a positive manner when you write them and discuss them. Our words have energy, and we want to bring good things rather than unwanted things. For example, rather than saying, “I want to lose …(weight/ my gut/ this baby belly/ my cellulite and jiggles, Etc)” say “I want to love how I look in the mirror” OR “I want to feel healthy” OR “I want to look and feel sexy”.
These statements should still make you think of the topic, but instead will focus on the positive outcome you desire to achieve your goal. Believe it or not, this makes a BIG difference in your success with your goal; as you want to put all your focus and energy into the solution, not the challenge. Remember, the law of attraction states that “like attracts like”; whether it is negative or positive. ...Use positive language to help you stick with your goals, and focus on “hoping” rather than “worrying”.
Here are some great positive affirmations to help you along your way:
“My experiences yesterday taught me a lot, and since today is a new day, I know I have the freedom to make new choices right now.”
“I haven’t failed unless I stop trying. Everything was once impossible until the day that it was.”
“First Attempt In Learning (FAIL) ...Thank you for the wisdom of failure. I couldn’t succeed without the knowledge I gained along the way.”
“As long as I do my best, I am proud of my progress. My opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to how I feel about my goal.”
“I made this goal because I know I deserve to feel good, and this _______ will help me to reach my goal.”
3. Set a smaller goal you feel you can confidently achieve in one week; so you can consistently exceed your own expectations rather than just meet them. Then do this for 4 weeks straight to create a strong routine.
For example, If you want to run a marathon but you’ve gained 20 lbs and you haven't trained in 2 years, it may be too large of a goal to commit to “snapping to it 5x a week” without some initial building up first.
Whether your goal is for fitness, health, diet, self-care, or any other routine you’d like to start, begin strong “at square one” by making a commitment to add something new 1-2x a week as your “Minimum Frequency Level” (MFL). You must make it weekly to actually keep consistency and see progress.
If you reach your MFL goal before the end of the week, and you’d like add another time, great! ...But keep your MFL goal to the initial 1-2x a week for a month when you first start.
The one exception to this would be if you have been successfully (and consistently!) maintaining a higher frequency than your initial MFL by the third week of your goal. Only then wouldn’t make sense to increase the frequency of your goal prior to month end. If you have, you can add up to 2x higher than your initial MFL, but resist the urge to increase your MFL more than that. The reason for that is because it always feels better to exceed your expectations than to only meet them or “default” on your MFL because you made it too high.
For example, even if you've been impressing yourself and going steady with a 5x a week routine, try to keep your MFL expectation at 3-4x a week. This will allow you to challenge yourself while continuing to exceed your own expectations. When you have a safety net of a lower MFL, you will be able to have more wiggle room in the inevitable moment that life throws you a curveball and your routine is thrown off. This will ultimately help you avoid defaulting on your MFL, and you won't beat yourself up as much if you have to move things around one week. ...You’ll thank yourself later for your self-compassion and planning on this one!
4. Be aware of whether your goal is properly matched with your chosen timeline.
When we think about succeeding at a goal, believe me, we all want to get there as soon as possible! But you will likely end up in self-sabotage if the necessary level of commitment needed does not work well with your goal’s timeline.
Ask yourself, “Is my goal a long-term goal (LTG) (i.e. lifestyle change), OR is my goal a short-term goal (STG) (I.e. temporary change)?
Being consciously aware of the difference in “goal timelines” will help you to plan better as well as choose the best approach for your success. Short-term and Long-term goals will always have different timelines.
Short-term goals (STG): With a STG, going into it strong with more sacrifice and determination may very well payoff. Most people can confidently see “the light at the end of the tunnel” clearly with a STG, so our bodies and minds are able to compartmentalize our resources much better with this circumstance. In contrast, being too lax on your “sacrifice and commitment” may actually increase stress due to the approaching deadline of a STG, and if you are slower or less frequent in your effort, this may actually result in failing to meet your STG by the deadline, or not meeting the level of commitment you had hoped for. Some people may still be satisfied with their progress in this case, and some may beat themselves up for not reaching their full goal. Everyone is different… but remember that any effort is better than none, and you can always be proud of your successes along the way.
Regardless, if you enjoyed the experience and you’d like to continue after you reach the deadline of your STG, consider making it a regular part of your lifestyle by adding that new routine to your LTG’s with a frequency that feels comfortable for your regular habits.
Long-term goals (LTG): In contrast to the structure of STG’s, when you want to be successful with a LTG,